Friday, February 26, 2010

2010

It has been a rough start for me man. I am jobless, gaining weight like crazy, lost one of my best friends, lost love and started to gain weight like crazy. Basically I lost my "swagg." Today I said that to a friend and she laughed becasue she couldn't believe that. To her, I am a ball of fun, constant laughs and smiles. I miss being myself and It may seem stupid to some people and logics to others but when i'm not making my own money I feel like a bum. I cannot depend on a man for money, I don't even like depending on my mom.

There are some girls i look at and just want to know what gives them their "swagg". Is it there looks? their smarts? or the fact that they have a strong support system? I know I am a great person but I want to feel like I am again.

Losing things you love makes you sort of doubt who you are and what you have to offer sometimes.